Random stuff?

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    Factoid: an invented fact believed to be true because of its appearance in print.
    Tuesday
    09Mar2010

    If I had to I would...

    sue Crayola for 100 Million dollars.  Lindsay Lohan is suing E*Trade for $100 Million for their superbowl ad where the baby kid hooks up with a "Milk-o-holic" named Lindsay.  So I figure if she can sue someone for no reason, I would sue Crayola. 

    They have caused me lots of mental harm, due to the fact that I can never say crayon properly, and besides being funny, it's emotionally scarring.

    Article:

    http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/lohan_such_baby_jVdQWABj9z0MgXzCv1Nh1O

    Thursday
    04Mar2010

    Stuff you didn't know about Vegans!

    I'm not going to pretend that I would/could go vegan, and I'm also not going to state the usual "I love meat toooooo much".  Sure I'm not against the idea of meat, but really I'm just way too lazy to be vegan. 

    I would go vegan if I had a personal cook who made me yummy food for every meal and snack.  Since I'm planning on retiring in the next 5 months, and will then hire a vegan chef, I decided to do some research on all things vegan, and here are some of the highlights from my research.

    1.) Vegans smell bad.  Omega 3 fatty acid blocks odor production glads.  Granted, a vegan can in theory take an omega 3 supliment, but good luck finding a vegan version of that...

    2.) 90% of all vegan cook books are printed using non-vegan printing materials.  It's not as bad as reading a book made from the pelts of baby otters, but it's still not vegan!

    3.) The average vegan goes poop 4 times a day, and due to the vegan diet the poops are quick and easy!  While this might sound like a good thing, this would really cut into my reading time, and thus, bogus!

    4.) I might have to go vegan, so that I can win the "2010 Sexiest Vegan" contest...

    Wednesday
    03Mar2010

    Honey!

    Here are some fake facts I made up at lunch today about honey:

    1.) Honey is the only food item that will never spoil. (I still sort of think this is true)

    2.) If you eat "half a bear" of local honey you will cure all signs of alergies.

    3.) Prego ladies can't eat honey cause then the unborn bees in the honey will hatch and sting  your baby.

    4.) Flies also make honey, but no one wants to eat that crap.

    5.) You are able to contract herpes from a tainted batch of honey.

    6.) When honey spoils it tastes like chicken (not sure why this was believed, after already telling everyone that honey doesn't/can't spoil).

    Tuesday
    02Mar2010

    Farmer Mike

    Sorry for not posting anything yesterday, I was very busy at work.  Before you call me a liar and remind me that I don't actually work, let me clarify, I was busy at working on my Farmville Farm. 

    Ever since I've decided that I'm going to make my first million by designing a facebook game I've gotten more into the one facebook game that I've ever played: Farmville.  I call this "research", other may call it something as rude as an addiction.

    For everything bad you can say about facebook games, you have to admit how smart zynga (maker of farmville, and other grossly popular facebook games) is for these games.  If you want your farm to be cooler then your friends then you will have to pay a small amount of real money for that extra special item.  Need a few more coins to finish planting a farm full of soy beans? Well you can just buy a few thousand coins for just a couple of bucks.  I have no doubt that they are making fistfulls of money, and seeing at just how easily it is for people to be tricked into spending money playing that game I now understand why they want you to email all your friends every time a chicken in your chicken coop poops.  Every new player who gets hooked is sure to spend some money feeding their addiction.

    So if you are reading this (John, Kathy, and Nora), and play farmville, well invite me to your be your neighbor!  I only have two!

    Saturday
    27Feb2010

    Best Sport Ever!

    Cat Curling!!!!

     

    I'm going for the gold in 2014!